Why I’m a Bad Mom

Why I’m a Bad Mom

A few people were quite taken aback when I told them I did this. And yet, a lot of moms were also not surprised.

During one of my crying sessions as a brand new mom brought on by my newest, closest friend, sleep deprivation, my own mom gave me some advice. Tummy sleeping.

I put Makoa to sleep on his stomach. With blankets. In bed with me.


There, I said it. The worst combination of all, maybe excluding smoking, which would never ever ever in a million years happen in my household anyway.

When Makoa was just a newborn and could sleep through anything, I always put him on his back to sleep, and he would do just fine. Fast-forward to a couple months down the road, and he was startling himself awake with the startle reflex, needing to be put back to sleep by yours truly every time. During the day, this usually wasn’t so bad. But when I was aching for a nap, or when it came to lonely old night time for me to really go to sleep, I couldn’t take it anymore. I would be up seemingly every half hour settling him back down to sleep. Any breeze that would come in through the window would wake him up too.

I was fed up and at my wit’s end. I needed more sleep. A person will do desperate things when sleep-deprived. When my mom suggested putting Makoa to sleep on his tummy, I of course rejected that because of SIDS and what the doctor says and the general consensus of what’s recommended right now. On another one of my sleep-deprived, verge-of-insanity days though, I just gave it a try during one of his naps. The rest is history.

Each night, he sleeps right next to me with blankets on. My husband sleeps in another room because he is afraid of sleeping in bed with Makoa. We all also sleep better when hubs sleeps in another room. I don’t feel like I have to tip-toe around when baby gets up for feedings, and of course we have more room in bed!

I’m not saying this will work for everyone, and I’m definitely NOT saying everyone should try or do this. This is purely my personal experience. I won’t go into detail about exactly what I do or why it works, but for us, it works.

I’m an insanely light sleeper. Every move or sound Makoa makes in bed, I turn and look at him. I put him under the same blankets I use which stretch across our king bed, making it virtually impossible for him to get tangled or bring the covers up over his face (he doesn’t flip over on his own yet – when he does, I’ll have to observe how it will work out). Most of all, I waited until he had enough neck strength and could easily turn his own head from side to side  before I left him to sleep this way. My mama instinct tells me everything is fine. If I had any kind of bad feeling about doing it, I wouldn’t do it.

When it comes down to it, it works for us. It allows our entire household to get the sleep it needs, and it’s worked for the past couple months. Do I still worry about the possibility of SIDS? Sometimes, but I also try to tell myself that people didn’t just start raising babies 20 years ago.

Take a look at various discussion boards and even articles from trusted sources online to see just how many people actually do it. If you’re a mama of a tummy-sleeper and it works for you, you don’t necessarily need to feel bad about it! More of us do it than you might think.

This article is very interesting to me as it explains SIDS data and how that data may or may not be subject to a variety of many other influencers.

Nevertheless, always do what your mama gut tells you. You make your own decision about what is best for your baby. If you’re going to do or try something like tummy sleeping, always use caution in any way possible.